Domesticated Dave’s Movie Madness presents Carrie : Pop Culture Leftovers

Domesticated Dave’s Movie Madness presents Carrie

October 21, 2013 3:19 am | Leave your thoughts

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Spoiler Alert: The events of this movie will be spoiled by this article; but, if you have seen the original, you already have been spoiled. So why not keep reading?

So it took a movie by Hitgirl to drag me out of my recent bout with video game addiction. Current Grand Theft Auto and Pokemon sequels had hijacked my life again, but the wonderful Chloe Moretz came along to pluck me out of the never ending struggle for achievements and higher rankings. Unfortunately, the villainous Kimberly Peirce conspired to steal one hundred minutes of my life with the most color-by-numbers directorial effort that I have witnessed in recent memory.

Carrie White is a sheltered young woman who finds herself the object of constant ridicule from her peer group thanks to the twisted parenting skills of her mother Margaret, a haggard Julianne Moore cranking up the crazy to eleven. The whimsical scenes of prom preparation scattered throughout the screening that I was at caused me to look around and notice that I was not the target audience for this new Carrie. The scenes of the boys trying on tuxedos made me look at my watch wondering when we were going to finally get to the promised prom massacre. Carrie has been developing her latent telekinetic powers in her free time, and she’s got A LOT of free time. I was amazed by how my fellow movie goers got off on the revenge fantasy that ensued at prom. Now, I have to give points to Carrie, because she both Force Chokes and Force Screams during the coup de prom. I even had a little Sith apprentice of around fifteen years behind me who kicked my seat throughout the entire prom sequence during which she proclaimed “Fuck Yeah!” at least seven times. I realized how bored I had become when the girl talking behind me was the highlight of the film experience.

If I were paying for movies at my tremendous local theater, Carmike Cinemas, I would have snuck into the next movie down and floated around in space for a while just to make the night worthwhile. The new Carrie gets a big “Toss It”. And don’t worry, Leftover Army, my ex-wife is now dating the video store clerk where I rent my video games from so I will have lots more articles coming your way in coming days.

Domesticated Dave’s Movie Madness presents Carrie

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