Once Upon A Time Review by Lauren Cates
October 10, 2013 12:57 am | Leave your thoughts
Welcome back, Once Upon a Time!
I went in skeptical, but instead of a recap, let’s go over the loose ends from last season:
1. All aboard!
When last we left our heroes, we saw them, with some of our not-so-heroes (I’d like to call them villains, but the fact that the writers were trying to push so hard last season that they were simply misunderstood rather than mua-ha-ha eeeeeeevil makes the title seem somewhat out of place) aboard the Jolly Roger and setting sail for Neverland in search of the kid that’s related to damn near everyone on this show, Henry. Neverland, of course, was a foregone conclusion with the introduction of Captain Hook and turning Rumplestiltskin into The Crocodile. Naturally, The Pan wasn’t too far away. Speaking of whom, it seems to me that the less-than-uneasy truce established by those guys is just a little too comfy. Hook spent 300 years trying to find a way to get revenge for Rumple killing mutual ex Milah, and suddenly it gets hand-waved away? Oh well, as long as Colin O’Donaghue keeps the banter flirty, I’ll watch just for that. And while we’re on the subject of uneven truces, a mermaid assault on the ship leaves everyone snarking, sniping and brawling in a scene that finally returns Regina to her sassy glory. No more weepy Regina, please, writers. And finally, finally, we get a conversation about how truly awkward it is when your parents are the same age as you. A year too late, I might add. But the lovely Jennifer Morrison sells it and I bought it for the asking price.
2. Emma’s Baby daddy
Oh, Neal. Why the hell do I care about you? When last we left him, he was a gunshot and portal removed from Emma, who declared her love for him as he went, and discovered by Philip, Aurora and Mulan. Near as I can figure, the only reason he’s not dead is to put the Enchanted Forest in play and Robin Hood. The character count is just piling up here, folks. For what it’s worth and against what most people might think, I like Aurora. For all the kickass princesses on this show, she’s the only one that isn’t a warrior and is perfectly okay with it, since she has other talents. Give the writers a little credit that they thought not everyone needs to take up a sword to be a hero. But back to Neal, he was the great contrivance that was Rumple’s son and Henry’s father, and now the third wheel to a possible Emma/Hook pairing (Captain Swan, for all of you ship followers out there). And he loves Emma, too. (Gag.) I once had an army guy tell me that in a room full of people, military people will always gravitate towards each other. Apparently, that’s true of fairy tale people, too. You find someone with immigrant parents from the Enchanted Forest, and you just can’t have anyone else. It was just too bizarre a coincidence that left me feeling like the writers were trying to surprise me by telling me exactly what they were going to surprise me with weeks before they pulled the trigger. And how about the return of Robin Hood? Beats me why they’d want him back. Beats me why he’d take up residence in Rumple’s castle, too, but again, if the writers need someone in play, they’ll put someone in play.
3. The Disciples of Dolby
Let’s not forget, try though we might, about Greg and Tamara and the Powers of SCIENCE! Greg had his shadow ripped from him (I’m calling “Obscure Death Rule”) and Tamara was left for dead only to be killed off by Rumple. Good. Fucking. Riddance. As we learned in this episode, the Home Office was, in fact, Peter Pan himself. Who supplied these boneheads with…tazers and electroshock therapy machines? I couldn’t get what the deal is with these two. They had zero chemistry, were not terribly interesting as characters (Greg had potential, but that was kind of wasted on the stupid “we’re here to destroy magic” storyline) and just made for a stupid way to drag the story to Neverland. The writers seemed content with fixing the mistakes it made with these two. I can’t not give ‘em props.
4. The Pan with the Plan
Finally, we had our inevitable meeting with Peter Pan himself. I suppose the writers think they’re being clever by subverting Peter Pan and making him the villain while Captain Hook is on Team Hero. I can’t say I hated it, but the reveal was rather obvious going in. And as for what he’s doing with Henry, well, a preview for next week showed that Pan is going to give Emma a map to find Henry. Umm…oh-kay. Why would he do this unless he’s a sadistic bastard trying to torture Team Hero? Or, and this is my personal theory on the subject: Pan wanted the titular “Heart of the Truest Believer”, but couldn’t rip it out for the same reason that Cora couldn’t rip out Emma’s heart last season. I’m not sure how “love is strength” plays into it, but that’s the only reason that they’re going to drag out this business with Peter Pan for, as I understand it, half a season.
I’m gonna reluctantly reward this show with a Taste It. I enjoyed this episode, but I expect that the writers are going to punish me for it later.
Tags: Once Upon a Time
Categorised in: Television Reviews
This post was written by David Griffin
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